is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize