ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
