I got chris browned last night
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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