His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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