Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
