I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
babies were throwing up all over the place
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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