Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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