if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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