i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
