You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
