So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
