i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
