Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
