I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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