It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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