It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
