he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
