I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish I only lived at night.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
