You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
