ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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