I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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