i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
