are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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