do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
