1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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