I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
