he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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