We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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