There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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