You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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