next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize