Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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