it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
