I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
