Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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