And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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