I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
