I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
