i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
