if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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