Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
