I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I need moral support for this bender
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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