i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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