i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you have to choose: penises or morals?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
