okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize