I think I died a long time ago.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
