so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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