At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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