Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
