Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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