God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
