I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
