ADVERTISEMENT

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.

  Fav 2 1281 1147

  share tweet
  

• (818): View more from California

  Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...

  (714): View more from California

  Didn't you just get a DUI last week?

  (818): View more from California

  Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it

  Fav 3 3085 1049

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom

  Fav 46 1042 9384

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire

  Fav 17 1141 5585

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

  Fav 21 7731 2135

  share tweet
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.

  Fav 43 2028 6932

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (646): View more from New York

  still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious

  Fav 4 911 1832

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  You went over didnt you?

  Fav 5 1251 905

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!

  Fav 11 572 1112

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?

  Fav 2 497 801

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now

  Fav 5 799 584

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (602): View more from Arizona

  Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.

  Fav 2 829 448

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?

  Fav 3 257 177

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.

  Fav 0 64 17

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (260): View more from Indiana

  Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?

  Fav 3 59 12

  share tweet
  

Randomize