Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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