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• (845): View more from New York

  I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.

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• (619): View more from California

  I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?

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  25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  i think i left a case of beer in your dryer

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him

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  27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I am one hundred percent down for that

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?

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