Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!

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(503): You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit! http://tfl.nu/d8vz

Replies (9) Good night (758) Bad night (3329)
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(716): View more from New York

i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts

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(716): i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts http://tfl.nu/g5xn

Replies (44) Good night (5228) Bad night (1139)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.

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(978): suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg. http://tfl.nu/rk1z

Replies (38) Good night (873) Bad night (11766)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.

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(616): I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico. http://tfl.nu/ms4f

Replies (8) Good night (5128) Bad night (1012)
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(905): View more from Ontario

My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.

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(905): My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed. http://tfl.nu/zkjg

Replies (21) Good night (4662) Bad night (2248)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive

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(804): i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive http://tfl.nu/za3r

Replies (1) Good night (2961) Bad night (1089)
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(631): View more from New York

Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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(631): Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes? http://tfl.nu/b80v

Replies (6) Good night (2297) Bad night (712)
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(914): View more from New York

we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.

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(914): we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/6asp

Replies (11) Good night (2696) Bad night (907)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.

(307): View more from Wyoming

I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...

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(605): I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling. (307): I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name... http://tfl.nu/8rf6

Replies (3) Good night (1902) Bad night (669)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.

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(719): I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon. http://tfl.nu/f6i1

Replies (6) Good night (1906) Bad night (645)
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(815): View more from Illinois

if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.

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(815): if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/myhj

Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (607)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.

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(484): We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town. http://tfl.nu/27ii

Replies (23) Good night (2197) Bad night (838)
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(702): View more from Nevada

We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.

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(702): We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly. http://tfl.nu/ykqa

Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (330)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I want to go out and have good clean fun.

(931): View more from Tennessee

Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.

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(931): I want to go out and have good clean fun. (931): Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina. http://tfl.nu/qwbd

Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (501)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"

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(573): Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo" http://tfl.nu/w19f

Replies (1) Good night (860) Bad night (391)

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