Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.

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  (917): Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick. http://tfl.nu/czw4
  Replies (26) Good night (3511) Bad night (770)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.

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  (706): I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom. http://tfl.nu/0mx3
  Replies (28) Good night (4840) Bad night (886)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"

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  (651): I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated" http://tfl.nu/zfhg
  Replies (29) Good night (1587) Bad night (8744)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.

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  (701): I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America. http://tfl.nu/w2zj
  Replies (19) Good night (4308) Bad night (1299)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"

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  (515): I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that" http://tfl.nu/9edj
  Replies (15) Good night (6196) Bad night (1066)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.

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  (928): she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college. http://tfl.nu/99x7
  Replies (50) Good night (9275) Bad night (1175)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...

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  (319): just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa... http://tfl.nu/k3oe
  Replies (29) Good night (5372) Bad night (958)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment

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  (908): He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment http://tfl.nu/mluf
  Replies (10) Good night (927) Bad night (3270)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!

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  (913): We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount! http://tfl.nu/fchz
  Replies (7) Good night (8863) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell

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  (919): You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell http://tfl.nu/8yas
  Replies (4) Good night (2627) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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  (217): she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work http://tfl.nu/qwhd
  Replies (3) Good night (2237) Bad night (1194)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.

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  (501): He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now. http://tfl.nu/buy8
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (2118)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.

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  (763): Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage. http://tfl.nu/62w3
  Replies (5) Good night (910) Bad night (1450)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.

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  (318): Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult. http://tfl.nu/kp39
  Replies (6) Good night (1560) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.

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  (250): You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you. http://tfl.nu/tyfl
  Replies (10) Good night (1281) Bad night (511)

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