why didn't you poke me back
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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