Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
