i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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