two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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