hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
