I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize