My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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