Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
